So... One of the worries that I didn't mention actually happened. At the end of the first day of dancing at the Sun Dance, I discovered that I had to leave the ceremony. I packed up my camp and left the grounds, and I won't be returning until the tree is taken down tomorrow.
In the meantime, I am in MOON CAMP. Where there are only WOMEN. (I'll wait for a moment while you do the math...)
At first I was so disappointed, even heartbroken. One of the things I love about the HHB Sun Dance is that it feels like everyone is in a community, working together to pray and support each other and cry and laugh together and make good things happen. And I had to leave that community. I cried and cried that night.
But then, as I unpacked my stuff, I discovered that I felt calm, and actually grateful.
Moon Camp has turned out to be a peaceful place for me to pray, to connect to Mother Earth and Spirit, to read and write and nap on a blanket in the sun, to rest and heal, to listen to the dragonflies buzzing around and wind sighing in the pines and horses nickering to each other. Apparently, this is what I needed this year.
And today, two people from the Sun Dance came by (at two different times) to thank us women in Moon Camp for doing the work we're doing there, holding that space, embodying and expressing female energy. That acknowledgement felt really good.
I miss the Sun Dance so much. But I am so grateful to have discovered Moon Camp.
May you be at peace with where you are today!
4 days ago