So... One of the worries that I didn't mention actually happened. At the end of the first day of dancing at the Sun Dance, I discovered that I had to leave the ceremony. I packed up my camp and left the grounds, and I won't be returning until the tree is taken down tomorrow.
In the meantime, I am in MOON CAMP. Where there are only WOMEN. (I'll wait for a moment while you do the math...)
At first I was so disappointed, even heartbroken. One of the things I love about the HHB Sun Dance is that it feels like everyone is in a community, working together to pray and support each other and cry and laugh together and make good things happen. And I had to leave that community. I cried and cried that night.
But then, as I unpacked my stuff, I discovered that I felt calm, and actually grateful.
Moon Camp has turned out to be a peaceful place for me to pray, to connect to Mother Earth and Spirit, to read and write and nap on a blanket in the sun, to rest and heal, to listen to the dragonflies buzzing around and wind sighing in the pines and horses nickering to each other. Apparently, this is what I needed this year.
And today, two people from the Sun Dance came by (at two different times) to thank us women in Moon Camp for doing the work we're doing there, holding that space, embodying and expressing female energy. That acknowledgement felt really good.
I miss the Sun Dance so much. But I am so grateful to have discovered Moon Camp.
May you be at peace with where you are today!
Karen
A shark smile in a yellow van
3 weeks ago
Oh. How disappointing! I'm sorry it made you cry. The whole gender separation thing has never made sense to me, but it exists in so many traditions. I wonder if those practices sprang from the survival instinct from way back when. Or is it just power over? Who knows.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are enjoying moon camp. xx Shalom.
Hey, Reya!
ReplyDeleteAccording to what I've read and been taught, a lot of the gender separation practices--including "avoidance" taboos--comes from the days when everybody shared close living quarters (i.e., a tipi) and still needed privacy.
There's also the philosophy that a medicine man's power comes from the sky, while a woman's comes from the earth; a woman is extremely powerful during her moon time, so she needs to be careful about who she comes into contact with, etc.
One of the people who came and talked to us that day made a point of telling us that it wasn't about shame or exclusion. I really appreciated hearing that. It helped me banish those thoughts.
I'm just so glad that I had a place to go for a few days, and it was a beautiful place. It all turned out fine. :)
Thanks for the comment!
Thank You for sitting with me (re: little bird)!!
ReplyDeleteWhen asked to tell the story to the kids -- you replied with a single powerful sentence about what I'd done.
Sometimes, the obvious escapes me and needs to be pointed out.
THANK YOU!!!